


In Control

by thethingthathasnoname



Category: IT Crowd
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-02
Updated: 2014-11-02
Packaged: 2018-02-23 21:27:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2556317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thethingthathasnoname/pseuds/thethingthathasnoname





	1. Chapter 1

Jen stormed into the basement to find a glazed over Roy sat as his desk. Moss was nowhere to be seen. Everything was normal then. The minute she laid eyes on Roy’s hunched over figure she began jabbering away incessantly, complaining about this that or the other. Roy didn’t really care and it didn’t take long before Jen noticed this. She stormed over to Roy and stood beside his desk swivelling his chair so he was forced to look at her.

“Are you _even_ listening?!” she demanded. Roy shrugged, shook his head and went back to staring at his computer. “ROY!” Jen shouted.

“Look.” Roy said, suddenly, surprisingly aggressive. Still not looking away from his computer, he continued nonchalantly. “I don’t have to listen to you. I’m not married to you.”

There was a silence.

Roy slowly lifted his head to steal a glance at Jen and saw her in the height of raging bull mode. Her nostrils were flaring, her eyes were locked like steel onto his head and her breaths were coming out ragged and sharp. It was a surprise there was no steam coming out of her ears. He braced himself and waited for the shouting. But instead something much scarier happened.

Jen grabbed hold of Roy’s t-shirt, not caring whether she gripped his skin too, and hauled him up from his chair.

“Now you listen here. I may not be your wife…” she whispered dangerously.

“You sure treat me like it…” Roy muttered, appearing slightly shaken from the sudden turn of events, but Jen continued like she didn’t hear him.

“But I am your boss, not that you acknowledge that at all. And I do have the power to fire you.”

“Like you would do anything like that…” Roy snorted but he sounded slightly nervous.

“I could! I would! If I ever wanted to!” She shook herself from this outburst and tried to return to the scary calm.

“Right…” he tried to appear unaffected. “Is that all?”

“No!” she coughed. “No. Not at all. Just because I am a woman does not mean that I have to be your wife, or even your boss, for you to respect me.”

Roy sighed; he should have known that this was going to be one of her feminism rampages. God! This woman was so annoying sometimes. Honestly, he thought he hated her in moments like these.

“You should treat me like your equal, or even your superior, and not disregard me as an annoyance or petty disturbance. You should follow my advice and instructions or at least pay attention to me.” She ranted on. And on. And on. Roy was getting fed up.

“I do this to everyone!” Roy exclaimed. “Not just to you. You’re so big headed and self-centred if you haven’t noticed I treat you like anyone else.”

“Well, you shouldn’t! You should treat me as your superior! And I am not self-centred.” She added as an afterthought.

“Hmm. Sure.”

“Well you are ignorant and selfish.” Jen retorted, poking him in the chest.

“You’re a woman.” Roy replied without thinking. And then wished he hadn’t.

Jen attempted to pull herself up to her full height, which still only came up to Roy’s chin, and grabbed hold of his shirt again.

“And why do you make that sound like such an insult?” she declared. “Being a woman makes me no different as a worthy friend or enemy than if I were a man.”

“Well, actually it kind of does...” Roy started, deciding that they were past all reason and he simply had to win this now. Jen’s face was a thunder cloud and there was no going back. “You see, as a man, I can do this and, as a woman, you are powerless to stop me.” And with that he took her by the waist and pushed her up against the door behind his desk.

“You sexist bastard!” Jen screamed, thrashing out at him. He simply took her hands and pinned them, either side of her head, to the door. “Let go of me!”

“No. Not until you admit that you are not a man and therefore there are some things that men can do that women can’t.” Roy stated, almost smiling at the situation.

For ages, he had put up with her bossing them mindlessly about and her never acknowledging the fact that she often went too far. He wouldn’t mind that she was a woman if she didn’t try to be a man. He quite liked her as a woman, in all honesty. Wait… no he didn’t. She was rude and controlling and temperamental. And he was sick of the way that she treated them like nothing. Yes. Today was the day the geeks fight back! Today he would be in control.

He could almost laugh at the amount of power her currently had over her. How had he never noticed how small she was?! His body practically engulfed hers against the door and her small limbs were twigs under his hands. She was just so small and delicate now that she had been stripped of her weapons of mass destruction, namely the fact that she was usually standing while they lay around. She was so close now he could see the freckles on her cheeks. He could see the smudges of makeup on her cheeks. He could see the haywire hairs on her head that had come free of the bun in the tussle.

He could also see her eyes. They were nice. He had never seen them before. Not properly. Not closely. Not like this. They were almost pretty. Dark blue and speckled with black. If he had been a writer or a poet he might have compared them to moonlight on the sea after a storm. But he was an IT consultant and so, instead, he decided they were more like the swirling blue of a Windows home screen. Windows had always been his favourite anyway.

Wait… what?! What the hell was he thinking?! He didn’t like Jen at all! Not her overpowering presence or her strict posture or her tight smirk. He didn’t like her soulless eyes. Or her pointy nose. Or her dainty lips. He didn’t like the way that she was smaller than him. Or the way her body felt pressed against his, completely under his control. He especially didn’t like the way that she could match him at guitar hero. Or how she sat with him sometimes and just played game after game after game and didn’t complain once. Or how she would mutter to herself while she did. And he most certainly did not like the way she was looking at him now all hatred and despair with her messy hair and smudged makeup. And absolutely not her eyes. Nope. Not one bit. Not at all.

Then why on God’s green earth was he smiling?!

“Roy…” Jen mumbled uncertainly.

“What…” Roy replied, just as confused.

“I hate you…” she said. But it wasn’t very convincing.

“I hate you more…” he replied. His voice cracked in the middle of it.

“I hate you the most…”

“Stop being such a woman…”

“Stop being such a man…”

“Woman.”

“Man.”

“Woman.”

“Man.”

They were drawing closer and closer together with each word they said. It was a gravitational pull forcing through the insults.

“Shut up.” Roy finished just as their lips collided.

It was almost tentative at first. Is this really happening? And then slowly, it became deeper. Roy pushed her harder against the door; his hands still trapping hers, his body engulfing hers. Then mouths opened wider, working against each other, tongues dancing, bodies sweating in a fierce embrace. He released her hands to slide his around her waist pulling her closer. Her hands dropped to his hair then his shoulder then down his chest then back to his neck. Roy got brave, breaking away from her mouth to plant kisses down her neck, sucking on her pulse point. That was going to leave a mark. Jen moaned, helplessly and Roy ground against her again. She was so weak, so fragile, so powerless. She was his. He slid his hands further down, gliding over her butt, grabbing her thighs. He hoisted her up so her legs wrapped round his waist spun them round and planted her on his desk. Then, carelessly, he swept the junk littering the table and spread her upon it.

Things didn’t slow down from there. Clothes became discarded all over the floor. Bodies rushed together frantically. A race of heat and fire and passion. Moans and growls and cries. Perfection. And despite their power plays and dominance fights, it was true to say that neither of them was at all in control.


	2. That's It.

When it was over, Jen simply grabbed her clothes and bag and disappeared into her office. Roy was left to awkwardly clean up. Once he finished he paced about a bit, shook his head a little and tried to think but gave up after a couple of seconds. Realising this was getting him nowhere; he braced himself and headed to her office. He knocked once and she called out casually for him to come in. He was unsure what to expect but it certainly wasn’t this.

Jen was sat, primly, behind her desk. Her makeup had been sorted and her clothes smoothed. She appeared to be typing away at something but Roy watched her fingers closely and realised that they were forming no sort of sensible format. He cleared his throat awkwardly.

“Jen?” he asked.

“One second.” She replied. Great. Back to exactly how it had been before.

He stood, waiting, having to maintain a conscious effort not to tap his foot. Eventually, she stopped pretend-typing and looked up.

“Yes. What can I help you with, Roy?” her voice was empty; devoid of any hint that anything had just happened between the two of them. Perhaps he had been dreaming. That would make a lot more sense. But, no, because if he glanced back into the main room, he could still see the clutter on the floor from where he had knocked it in their haste.

“Don’t you think we should talk?” Roy couldn’t believe he was forced into being the mature one here.

“I don’t know what you’re referring to.” Jen’s voice was still flat. But her eyes, those goddamn eyes, gave her away. They were scared.

“Yes you do.” He took a step closer.

“Stop right there.” She stood up.

“No.” he took another step.

“Roy.” She backed herself up against the bookcase behind her.

“Come on. Talk to me.” Another step.

“I don’t know what to say.” Like a rabbit in headlights.

“You could start by explaining how you feel.” Another step.

“I feel nothing. Nothing happened.” Ah denial. Sweet, sharp denial.

“I think this says differently…” Roy was close enough now to reach out and pull aside her scarf, displaying the array of purpling marks. She tugged it back.

“Don’t touch me.”

“That’s not what you said earlier.”

“Roy!” she smacked his arm lightly. He grabbed her hand holding it there. “Get off me.”

“Why?”

“Because…”

“What?”

“Because!”

“Because what?! Because nothing! Because there is nothing to be because-ing about!”

“No. Because this can’t be happening. This is inappropriate. And wrong. So, so wrong.” She started shaking her head and he reached out to hold it still.

“Why?”

“Because you’re you and I’m me! Because I’m your boss.” Roy coughed here. She glared at him. “Because I just can’t and…”

“Why can’t you?”

“BECAUSE!”

There was a moment of silence where they both simply stood in this strange embrace. Roy had been trying to hold her face still but now it had turned into more of a caress and Jen’s hand on his arm had slid down to hold his. He gazed intensely down on her and she blinked back at him. Her eyes were wide, goose bumps prickled her skin, her heart thumped and her breath shook raggedly.

“You don’t have to be scared.” He muttered quietly.

“I’m not…”

“Then you should be able to let me do this without flinching.” He gently ran his hand across her face and down her neck. “And this…” he whispered as he brought her hand up to his chest. “And this…” he muttered leaning forward to capture her lips with his again. At first, she was stiff. Afraid. But as his hands returned to her waist, she melted into him. “Go out with me.” He murmured. She simply nodded her consent and reached up to twist her hands about his neck. This was getting too intense again.

“HELLOOOO!” came Moss’s sudden call as he entered the basement. “Sorry I’m so late, ruddy awful traffic. There was congestion near the bu…” he trailed off as he peered into Jen’s office and saw the pair of them hastily trying to cover up their intimacy. But despite Moss’s lack of several other social understandings, this he could see clear as day. Dammit. He stood for a second, mouth gaping, bag dropping to the floor in shock. Then he screamed and ran to hide under his desk.

Jen and Roy sheepishly made their way into the main room.

“Moss?” Jen called.

“Moss buddy?” Roy echoed.

“Go away.” Came the sullen reply.

“Moss… we can explain!” Jen tried.

“Explain what?” he demanded. “The sexual attraction you feel for one another that causes you to mash your faces together and have sex in the middle of our workplace?”

“We weren’t having sex…” Jen protested. Moss’s head appeared out from under the desk long enough to send them a withering glare before retreating.

Jen shrugged at Roy urging him to take over.

“Come on Moss, old buddy, old friend. This doesn’t change anything.”

“Yes it does. You’ll be all touchy feely while I’m trying to focus and eat my sandwiches. It will be like watching your parents. And then you’ll go places without me and have jokes without me and soon you’ll forget all about me. I’ll just be an awkward, invisible third wheel!” Moss exclaimed, his voice spiralling higher and louder with every sentence.

“We won’t forget about you, Moss!” Roy continued.

“And if you want, we won’t be ‘touchy-feely’ in front of you either.” Jen offered. Roy turned to her and whispered.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to manage that.” He growled in her ear as his arm slid round her waist and he planted a kiss on her lips.

“Oh, stop it you.” She teased, pretending to bat him away but cuddling further into him and placing small kisses on his neck.

“AWWWWW!!!” came a girly squeal from Moss’s direction. They turned to find him kneeling with his chin on his hands grinning happily at them like an adoring fan. “You guys are so cute!”

“So you don’t mind us being together?” Roy asked.

“Not if you’re going to be like this all the time. This is adorable!” Moss continued happily.

“That’s it?!” Jen exclaimed. “Wow and I thought girls had mood swings…” she continued under her breath. She felt Roy’s arm around her pinch a bit as if he was warning her not to push it.

“Yep.” Moss grinned and then took out a sandwich and started eating it. And that was, indeed, it.

Weeeeellll, it wasn’t quite because they still all fought. A lot. Moss vs the couple. The couple vs each other. The couple vs each other vs Moss. But most of the time it ended happily ever after. Especially if Roy and Jen fought because that usually ended with hot cupboard sex.


End file.
